They Said It (The Rick Majerus Edtion)

"I often say I'm the result of swimming pool sperm."

"Some guys smoke. Some guys drink. Some guys chase women. I'm a big barbecue-sauce guy. I'm like that guy on the 'Odd Couple,' and it's not the neat guy. I go into my room and find pieces of pizza under the laundry."

"Nobody thought I'd be a great coach. I'm the kind of guy you'd expect to be driving an 18-wheeler through town."

"I think I was such a pathetic figure in '98, [Ashley Judd] felt sorry for me. She hugged me. That was my sex life for the next two or three years."

"(At hotels), There's clean towels, my bed is turned down every night and there's a mint on my pillow, no matter what psychological or emotional crisis the maid is going though."

"I microwave nachos. If it can't be done on a grill or in a microwave, I won't do it."

"Like I always told Bobby Knight, nothing good happens around a salad bar."

"You watch this guy Jerry Springer on TV. What a show that is! It's got to be like WWF. It cannot be real. There's not enough trailer parks in the country - and I'm dating a girl from a trailer park."

"If we're getting in a sumo ring, [Rick Pitino] and I, then he's the underdog. I'll crush him. But on the court, we're in trouble."

"I've had seven bypasses - one for every major food group and two for the barbecue division."

Al McGuire: "Never marry a beautiful woman, because a beautiful woman might leave you."
Rick Majerus: "An ugly woman might leave me too."
Al McGuire: "Yeah, but it won't matter."

"There's three [UCLA] cheerleaders out there I'd like to take home tonight. All three would tell me no. They won't go."

"We get a call from a white guy with a bad haircut who says he's the next Keith Van Horn. And the only thing he ends up having in common with Keith Van Horn is that he's white -- and has a bad haircut."

"I could beat Lance Armstrong because if he got behind me, he couldn't get past me."

"I stayed there for 15 years. I damn near became a Mormon, which is an expensive proposition. You think taxes are high in California? Those [Utah] boys are tied in for 10 percent right from the start."

"They laughed at me when I did my first game (as a commentator) for ESPN and I came in with 32 pages of notes. They said, 'You don't have to win the game for both teams. You just have to talk about it.'"

"I've often said they should send Dick Vitale into hostage negotiations. Everyone would come out with their hands up."

"I wouldn't know a suit from Sears from a Versace."