Monday, March 15, 2004
The Couch Slouch
May soon rival Bill Simmons. Today's piece is a keeper -- No cure for March Madness.The highlight reel:
For there's no end to the avalanche of overwrought verbiage penetrating the basketball airwaves. On CBS, for instance, the unrelentingly faux-articulate Clark Kellogg said he thought Kentucky should be a No. 1 seed "based on their body of work." Kentucky's body of work? Please. Sir Isaac Newton had a body of work. James Michener had a body of work. Even Gary Busey has a body of work. Kentucky, my friends, has a 26-4 record.
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Now, as you know, I love gamblers and real gambling, but I can't abide this nickel-and-dime office pool mania that grips the land. Tournament brackets are the crack cocaine of corporate America. If the Soviet Empire ever wanted to disable Microsoft or U.S. Steel, the ideal time to strike would be the 72 hours following Selection Sunday, when the senior vice president of product development is worrying about how Central Florida matches up with Pittsburgh.
Note to office pundits: Central Florida does not match up well with Pittsburgh. The Panthers are tough inside and talented outside. They won't be upset in the first round.
